legendary_jerry

Oh, hi

Sun, 28 Jun 2009 07:05:31 GMT

I miss you. Really.

Sun, 21 Dec 2008 09:17:47 GMT

I miss my friend.

Tue, 25 Nov 2008 16:13:38 GMT

YOU MUST READ THIS BOOK!
(Amazon.com linkage, SFW)

The Answer

Mon, 24 Nov 2008 08:53:45 GMT

If you were stranded on a deserted island, what five films would you take?

First off, I'm assuming that I have:
- An abundant supply of power
- A television
- Some type of video player

Movie 1
A porno. I don't know one off-hand, but a man alone has needs. If you have any suggestions, please let me know.

Movie 2
A comedy because you'll want something to cheer you up. You're on an effing island. Alone. And that sucks. The Princess Bride comes to mind because it's one of those films that never gets old.

Movie 3
A helpful film, like Cast Away with Tom Hanks. You could use it as a survivalist quick-reference.

Movie 4
A samurai film, like Sanjuro. This is currently my favorite film in the genre, but that may be because I've just seen it. It's hard to chose. I would spend my days mastering Sanjuro's sword moves using a branch from a coconut tree. Endless entertainment!

Movie 5
Finally, Mean Girls with Lindsay Lohan to remind me that I'm probably lucky to be on an effing island and I don't have to deal with that kind of crap anymore.

...hold your ground.

Sat, 22 Nov 2008 09:36:56 GMT

Peace of mind. Against bear or burglar.

And I still can't believe that you have never heard of

Wed, 19 Nov 2008 01:36:08 GMT

My apartment got broken into today. I slept through them kicking the door in, but I woke up when they came into my bedroom. I think that they heard me snoring and thought that I was a lion.

My dog didn't even wake up until the maintenance guys came to replace the door. Worst guard dog ever.

Sun, 09 Nov 2008 19:03:07 GMT

Obama cures gloabal warming.

Vote for McCain

Thu, 16 Oct 2008 12:02:35 GMT

--because who could better deal with our current financial crisis than someone who was alive during the Great Depression?

I am listening to the Third 2008 Presidential Debate. Instead of debates, we should just get the candidates together and have a knife-fight.

The Old Badger

linkage:
The Jokers
Cantidates as Star Wars characters

VOTE AND DIE!

Mon, 06 Oct 2008 13:01:12 GMT

On average, "24 more people died in car crashes during voting hours on (U.S.) presidential election days than on other October and November Tuesdays. That amounts to an 18 per cent increased risk of death." (livescience.com)

If you're really concerned about your future you won't vote.

Mon, 06 Oct 2008 08:09:33 GMT

Wonder if you belong, think you've got it down
Does it still feel the same, now that he's not around

Born to lose, Born to lose, make your mind up no fooling round
Now that I know, I could never be, I would never be the only one.

Wonder how it all began, as if that mattered anyway
There's someone else you're always wanting, every single day

Born to lose, born to lose, make your mind up no fooling round,
Now that I know, I could never be, I would never be the only one.

Born to lose, Born to lose, make your mind up no fooling 'round
Now that I know, I could never be, I would never be the only one.

Rap freestyle battle translated into proper English

Sun, 14 Sep 2008 13:51:29 GMT

http://view.break.com/569516 - Watch more free videos

Sat, 13 Sep 2008 08:26:17 GMT

Testing the Google Docs upload to blog feature.

Edit: Ok, that's pretty sweet. You can also upload presentations, spreadsheets, polls, etc. Good times.

Wed, 10 Sep 2008 17:13:00 GMT

Conserve Fuel

Wed, 03 Sep 2008 19:14:57 GMT

It looks like I'm going to have to sully my sweet rig and purchase a USB floppy drive for my puter :|

It's not hardware, it's an anachronism!

But if I buy 5, I can... http://ohlssonvox.8k.com/fdd_raid.htm

Jerry vs. AT&T Automated Service

Tue, 02 Sep 2008 13:25:20 GMT

Guest: I would like to combine my wireless and internet bills

Ask Us: About Combined Bill
Combined bill is a program available through AT&T and former BellSouth customers, where AT&T wireless charges are billed on customers' existing wireline (traditional landline) bills.

Guest: I don't think that is exactly what I'm looking for, Evil Robot

Ask Us: I'm sorry, I'm not sure what you mean. Please type ? to see how I can help you or topics for a complete list of help topics.

Guest: You know nothing, machine!

Ask Us: I'm sorry, I'm not sure what you mean. Please type ? to see how I can help you or topics for a complete list of help topics.

Guest: I'm on to your...machinations

Ask Us: Billing Codes

Further explanation of the billing codes on your bill can be found by selecting View Full Bill from the bill summary page, and then scrolling down to Call Details. Here you will find a legend with billing codes and descriptions.

Guest: It's like you're not even listening...you haven't heard the last from me, Evil Robot.

Pornography and Pancakes

Sun, 10 Aug 2008 09:54:59 GMT

If that title excites you then you're a sick fuck. This is why you're on my friends list.

So, I've got a new "Rig". The laptop is now hooked up to the HDTV, I have a wireless keyboard (the one from the movie Jumper--the best part about the movie was the keyboard, btw), and a shiny new 1TB HD. Oh, and I'm not ninja-ing my neighbors webbenet anymore. Basically, I've reached an all-time materialist low--or high, depending on your perspective. I am not ashamed because it feels so good.

dubya. tee. eff.

Sat, 26 Jul 2008 08:07:03 GMT

Created by Mingle2.com (Dating for non-zombies)

I'm surprised that they didn't come up with the obvious tagline:
"It is love at first bite."

Woah, I know Kung Fu-

Sat, 26 Jul 2008 08:03:23 GMT

-but not really.

I took a Shaolin class yesterday and I proved something that I've expected for quite some time: I am not graceful. At all. Imagine an elephant trying to walk a tightrope. While on fire. It went something like that. Is that going to stop me from going back next week and trying again? No. When at first you fail to succeed, then fail, fail again.

Tonight I went to see a midnight showing of The Road Warrior at Inwood. The Road Warrior is one of those films that's bad in all of the right ways. 85% of the film is filled with car chase and crash scenes. But not just the ordinary run-of-the-mill car chase scenes. These chase scenes had a young Mel Gibson with a sawed-off double barrel shotgun chasing down post-apocalyptic greaser thug punks. Yes, everyone wore leather. Good times.

D+1

Sat, 19 Jul 2008 08:43:03 GMT

I've decided to start working out and trying to take care of myself again. I feel like I've been speeding on the highway to heart attack for a while now. I jogged last night and then hit the weights (pointless because I was so exhausted from running). Tonight I dusted off my bike and went exploring like I used to when I was a kid. That brought back memories, like the time that I biked around the entire city...twice. Seriously. Blue Mound, TX, the town that I spent the first seven years of my life in, is 0.5 square miles small. I think that it took me like 30 minutes, but I did stop at the gas station and bought a Big Red soda and some Bazooka Joe bubblegum.

The best part about Bazooka Joe is the comic book wrappers :)

Happy B-day Mel!

Tue, 15 Jul 2008 05:01:55 GMT

Congrats on being older!

Work work work...

Thu, 10 Jul 2008 01:38:57 GMT

I started the new job last week and I'm enjoying it so far. It's nice to be able to think at work for a change. It's also nice to to be out of a smock. That alone is totally worth the pay cut. My co-workers are...interesting and nice for the most part. I've never been out-geeked on this level before. Who the hell says lol (pronounced lull, apparently)? Ridiculous.

It's not smart, it's fucking genius!

Sun, 29 Jun 2008 15:50:44 GMT

Some guy put a Hayabusa engine (fast crotch-rocket motor) in a Smart car.

http://thekneeslider.com/archives/2005/06/08/smart-car-plus-gsxr-equals-smartuki-a-very-smart-car/

http://youtube.com/watch?v=aEdmmWb9DhQ&feature=related

I want it so bad.

The Phrontistery

Sun, 29 Jun 2008 14:03:10 GMT

Words not entirely lost.

I've decided to give up chess in order to become a cryptologist.

Zebrule

Aardwolf

Satyr

Also, I think that I broke my biological clock.

Sat, 14 Jun 2008 14:06:47 GMT

Free-IQTest.net - Free IQ Test

And here I thought that I was a super-genius. Guess not.

I made little children cry at the chess tournament last night. There's a huge tournament in Denton in two weeks that I'm thinking about going to. 5 rd. G/30

I'm goin redneck huntin!

chili for breakfast

Sun, 08 Jun 2008 13:27:53 GMT

my milk went bad.

numbers are working against me today...